Pandora for my closet, awards I don't possess, news, and other things

Ciao, bellas!  Sorry I've been so MIA but Tumblr has been getting all my love lately.  I can't help it, I'm a whore for pretty pictures.  XD

Let's go over what's been happening in the world, shall we? made it's debut this week and even though it's in its beta stages, it's pretty damn good.  It's like your bookmark lists meets Pandora except on crack.  You can search for and browse the looks you love and save them eventually creating your own "boutique".  Google, the creators of the site, take it one step further by suggesting things you might be into based on a survey you take during the registration process.  And by suggesting, I mean inundating you with pages and pages of shit you probably would not have ever stumbled upon on your own.  It's pretty cool.

And like anything fashion and online related, the fashion blogger are all over this one.  If it tickles your fancy you can follow the likes of Jane from Sea of Shoes (::yawn::) or Karla of Karla's Closet (weird but not boring at least) and a few others.  Or if you'd rather follow someone with actual clout, there are celebrity, brand, and retail endorsed boutiques as well.  Google is all about the options, you know.

You can take a peak at my boutique, here!

The American Music Awards, aka the bronze medalist of relevant music awards, was this week as well.  I couldn't tell you a thing about who won, but I can tell you a lot about who showed up looking great:

(Miley Cyrus in Marchesa, Katy Perry in Badgley Mischka, Kelly Osbourne)

Ok, ok, I'll Google who won for you.  ::ahem::  Rihanna awkwardly danced her way to the Soul/R&B Female Artist of the Year Award while Usher glided his way up to snag the Male division.  Lady Gaga and her awesomely weird self won the Pop/Rock Female Artist Award while The Black Eyed Peas won the Duo or Group division by default.  (Because there are other Pop groups out right now...?)  Glee continues to dominate the world by winning the Soundtrack of the Year Award while our favorite pre-teen, Justin Beiber sweeps the ceremony by winning four awards including Artist of the Year.  ...Um, Imma leave that one alone.  For a complete list of the winners, be sure to stop by  

Also, people are still looking for Natalee Halloway?? 

In Black people Urban news, two highly anticipated albums finally debuted this week: Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy & Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday.  In true Kanye fashion, from what I've heard, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy takes the listener on a journey of epic proportions all while telling you exactly how epic it is.  And as much as you just want to roll your eyes, you find yourself bopping your head instead.

In the Oooh girl you are so creative! division, Nicki Minaj hoots and hollers her way through 13 tracks which to be frank is 13 too many.  Sorry.  I happened to catch her on 106 & Park where she performed to a crowed of Yaki sponsored pink wigs & male chicken head enthusiasts.  She also interview for like 30 whole mins (again, 30 too many) ::yawn::.  More notably she wore some bad ass tights:

Which you can "steal" for a cool $210.  Heads up for for recommendation!  

Don't you just love when things come full circle?  :)

So tell me,

Out of what happened this week, what did you find most interesting?

Sorry it's been so long.
Going through some things.
Be back soon.

One more thing.

I have a Tumblr.  I like to call it my "photo diary" but I also put dumb shit I find on the internets.  And plug this blog.  A lot. 

Check it out.

Super Deals For the Early Birds

GTFO, what do you mean 11:00 AM isn't early?  You're probably a morning person, huh?  You do 6:00 AM yoga and everything.  

All jokes aside, here's the 411 on all the sample sales that are fit to shop.  You're welcome.  ;)

Who: Tibi
Featuring: Your favorite jackets and sweaters starting at 50% off.
Tues, Nov 9 - Thurs, Nov 11 // 10 a.m.-6 p.m
Where: 409 W. 39th St. b/w Ninth & Tenth Aves

Who: Nanette Leopre
Featuring: Those effortlessly feminine tops, dresses, and more at less than 50% off.
When: Tues, Nov 9 - Thurs, Nov 12: 9 a.m.-7 p.m //  Fri, Nov 13: 9 a.m.-5 p.m.
Where: 225 W. 35th St. b/w Seventh & Eighth Aves., 4th flr.

Who: Inhabit
Featuring: Cuddle worthy cashmere just in time for cuffing season.   
When: Wed, Nov. 17 - Thurs, Nov 18 // 10 a.m.-6 p.m. 
Where: 1441 Broadway, b/tw 40th & 41st Sts., 28th flr. 

Who: Melissa Shoes
Featuring: Those beyond adorb plastic shoes that would make Barbie jealous at prices that will make your heart swoon.
When: Wed, Nov. 17 - Sat, Nov 20 // Noon-8 p.m.
Where: 520 W. 27th St., b/t Tenth & Eleventh Aves. , ste. 403.

Who: Rebecca Minkoff
Featuring: The Morning After Clutch for well under $200.  What else do you need to know??
When: Wed, Nov. 17 - Sat, Nov 21: 10 a.m.-7 p.m. //  Sun, Nov 22: 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
Where: 93 Mercer St., b/t Broome & Spring Sts.

That's it for now.  Get to shopping and come back with details!

PS: Have you stopped by Lulu*s yet?  Time is running out to use our exclusive discount code.  Enter "LUXE" (case sensitive) at checkout and receive 15% off your entire order!

Logos via Google Images
Special thanks goes to Daily Candy for the 411 

Kiss. Kiss. Bang. Bang.

I caught this video on E! the other day and have since been mildly obsessed with it.

When they aired it there was no introduction thus I was utterly lost.  Was that a movie trailer?  A music video?  A really long commercial?  After a little digging on the Internets I'm pretty certain that it is the official music video for the featured song, "The Big Bang" by Rock Mafia.

Digging the tune, double digging the cinematography.  See, Kanye?  A music video can be intriguing with out being THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES LONG.  

So tell me:

Is Miley Cyrus less funny looking now?
Or did we just get used to her funny looking face? 

SB: Boyfriend surprised me with purchasing these babies in grey.  (Good boyfriend!)  But he totally forgot to use my exclusive discount code.  (C'mon son.)  Don't make the same mistake he did!  The code "LUXE" (case sensitive) still gets you 15% off everything on  You're welcome.  ;)

Hiccups that kill, my new political party, and other ridiculous and BIG news. Fashionistas I have something for you, too!


I'm going to finally write a new blog post.  And no Facebook, nap, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon is going to stop me this time!!


So, is it just me or has there been a lot of epically weird people making the news recently?  And not like weird like your off beat cousin Joey weird, but weird like the kind of people who evoke a sorry-I-don't-have-any-change-and-no-sir-I-do-not-have-the-time response weird.  

Exhibit A.  Jennifer Mee, the girl who became famous by hiccuping for like 5 months straight, just extended her 15 minutes of fame by killing someone.  True story.  I mean, if that doesn't deserve an award for Excellence in Completely Random Shit, idk what does.   I was intrigued by this story because you would think someone with such an adorably fake chronic condition such as long term hiccups would be a precious Midwesterner with pigtails.  On the contrary, Mee was a frequent runaway growing up who had many run ins with the law AND IS NOW A MURDERER.  Huh.  And apparently she has Tourettes which I think is completely irrelavant to the case as I always thought that Tourettes cause random verbal outbursts, not random 1st degree murders.  But idk, I was only a Marketing major in college.

Exhibt B.  Jimmy McMillan.  Oh Jimmy.  Jimmy, Jimmy.  This guy is running for Governor of NY and he has one cause and one cause only.  Lowering the rent for the citizens of NYC.  No seriously, the rent is too damn high.  That is the name of his party.  And his website.  And all things from hence forth regarding him.  Why?  BECAUSE THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH.  Ya'll don't even know.  Everything that has ever plagued humanity stems from the fact that the rent is too damn high.    

Did you click on that link?  Do it now.  I'll wait.  I meannnnnnnnnnnnn.  Who designed that web page for him and how did they manage to time travel back to '97?  There is every sort of graphic text known to man floating and glittering in a heap of unnecessary mess.  There are dancing skeletons, people.  And I bet that has nothing to do with Halloween.  Come December they will still be there doing their two frame running man.  I applaud McMillan for  speaking on a cause that is real; no matter how many West Village hole in the walls I rent I will never get over the fact that the average for a dumpy studio is $2400, however no one in their right minds would allow themselves to vote for this.  


On a completely unrelated but totally cool note, I have HUGE news., that uber cute site chockful of great deals has blessed us with an even bigger deal.  From now until November 12th you can save 15% off your entire order with the exclusive code "LUXE"!  Seriously!  Stop by the site, pick out your faves, and enter the case sensitive code "LUXE" at check out and receive 15% off you order.  It's that's simple.  

Here are my personal faves from what's new on the site (because who gives a pair of Uggs what's old, right?) ;)

So, tell me!

Have you ever shopped Lulu*s before?  If not what are waiting for??

Bonus question
Would you rather be Jimmy McMillian's personal assistant
Share a jail cell with Jennifer Mee?  And oh yeah, she still has the hiccups.

Good luck with that,


If Lisa Frank did health and beauty, I'm pretty sure it would look like this. Plus massive amounts of glitter. Also, unicorns.

Product review, product review, get friggin' ready it's a product review!

I mean if that doesn't get you excited then clearly you haven't been drinking enough. 

In another attempt to remind you all that this is really (!) a fashion blog, despite my borderline ADD & inability to not tell you all about what pissed me off the other day, I present Luxe Little Things first product review!  ::insert bbm dancing smiley face::

So I've been obsessed with Minx, the film that's professionally applied to nails using heat, ever since I heard it was the hot thing on the streets and everyone knows I'm 10x as trendy as hipsters were 3 years ago.  Word.  But I've never gotten them because it costs like $60 a session and that can buy a whole lot of gummy bears and Lucky Mags which are much more pertinent to my lifestyle.  SO when I stumbled across Chic Prints for Nails by OPI for Sephora (also see: longest product name ever.  -1 point) I was as giddy as a Staten Island chick on Canal St ("Juicy Couture" bags for how much??)  

My working station four nails into the process

I chose the "anchor" design because there's something so chic about nautical stripes and, hello!, there are tiny silver anchors on them. The necessary supplies start and end with just a glass nail file but I broke out my favorite black nail polish for my eight small toes while I applied the print to my two big kahunas.  

The directions state to "rub the strips vigorously with your finger to heat and then peel" which is cool but how long do I rub this thing?  And how hot is hot enough?  And am I the only one who giggles at the word "vigorously"?  I figured it was safe to stop once my index started burning.  I mean, I've heard fashion is pain but sheesh.  They peeled very easily and stuck well enough to stay put if you wanted them to but you could also easily peel them off to re-apply them better.  After rubbing out the air bubbles, directions state to bend the excess of the strip down and then file it off in a downward motion.  That, my friends, is an acquired technique.  My first few nails were so jagged I had to break out the nail file.  For best results, pull the strip taught first as they do stretch a little.

Almost halfway through.  Too eager to finish applying the pinky nail.

When I was all done I was very satisfied.  I thought they looked adorb.  That was, until, I saw them under natural light.  They look like straight up stickers, y'all.  Like my little sister went pretend manicure happy on me.  Under direct sunlight they look way shiny and plastic-like.  Sephora/OPI/those child day laborers would have made a much better choice if the prints had more of a matte finish.  For me, that would've made the real difference between drug store nail art and a inexpensive true Minx substitute.

Over all, I give this product a B-.  The reviews on Sephora's website are great so someone loves them and I would venture to say other patterns might show better.  In other words the anchor print is a no go but I might be willing to try the lace pattern.  Especially if it was free.  Just saying.  O___O  #illuminati

Will you try Chic Nails by OPI for Sephora?  How do you usually do your nails?

Sick Ass Choreography Sundays!!!

It's the return of my favorite themed posts!  For the newbies, each week I (tried) to bring you some of the hottest choreo the Internets have to offer.  Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do.  ;)

Um, they totally just So You Think You Can Dance'ed all over that bed.  #steamy

Later hoes,


The one in which I attempt to give advice. Yeah, I know.

Chances are if you're reading this you are broke.  And I'm not trying to be mean (this time), I don't mean bag lady on the street poor.  I mean recent grad with an entry level job making just enough to pay your half of the rent and get smashed dinner about twice a week broke.  And if you think you're living in that situation and that you are, in fact, financial sound, then you're not sound in the head.  Word. 

Now that I have spiraled you that much further into your quarter life crisis funk, I'll get to the point.  I like to hoard money.  But ever since I joined the real world and started paying rent, my savings account has barely been showing signs of life.  And I'm wondering what I'm sure a lot of other people are wondering: How do I save money when I don't make any to begin with?  Well, I'm not financial adviser (I'm still not quite sure what a 401K REALLY is and IRAs always remind me of the NRA which are completely different subjects but would be kind of cool if they weren't) but I know what works for me.  And everyone knowssss my opinion is gold.  You're welcome.   And so I present: Ways to Save Money When You Don't Actually Make Any.


1. Change counts!: I cannot tell a lie, I was fronting on change for a while.  Its cumbersome, loud, and makes you feel like an 80 year old when you try to use it at the grocery check out.  But, and this is no news to some, it does add up.  If you're not a fan of physical change, sign up for one of those "Keep the Change" programs at your bank.  I saved about $50.00 in 3 months and I didn't even know I was enrolled.  Sneaky bastards.  If you don't mind a pocket full of coins go old school and get a piggy bank.  Break new bills instead of using change and empty your pockets every night.  Always get your change from the cashier even if it is only a nickle.  Save for months and don't dip in if you can help it.  Don't let your boyfriend think it's okay to just take a dollar in quarters to get a bagel because, hello, that's real money, my real money, and that's like almost like stealing and he will break that really cute candy dispenser you got from Dylan's Candy Bar and cleverly used as a piggy bank.  What? O_O

2. Take turns not loans: This one technically won't make your account fatter (aw) but it will make you happier financially.  I don't borrow money (my pride, ouch) and I don't loan money ('cause people ain't shit, no thanks) and you shouldn't either.  Let's face it, no one likes to owe money.  And, no offense to your homies, but if they're broke today they're going to be broke tomorrow.  And the next day.  The day after that?  Still broke.  Usually by the time you get  your money back you no longer needed it.  Additionally, it's not as if you were charging interest so that $40 is almost worth less to you now.  What my friends and I do instead, is take turns paying for things.  For example, if I'm running low on funds this week my friend might get my meal but next week I got her for the cover charge at a nightclub.  It's like a symbiotic relationship of sorts.  #geek.  It also attaches more value to the transaction because both people benefit.  The club is much more fun when everyone can get in.  Even the broke bitches.

3. Stop being extra.  The economy provides us with way too many options.  Srsly.  For a nominal fee, always "nominal", you can get some shit you don't need but sounds pretty impressive.  Do you really need a 3 year extended warranty on a camera you'll probably upgrade in 18 months?  Do you really need the Top 1500 Premium channels when you catch all your faves on Hulu?  Do you really need to supersize that meal??  Probably not ya fat ass.  But seriously, evaluate what you have vs what you need.  I tracked my cell phone data usage for three months and noticed I was consistently using less than 2 MB.  I changed my plan from "Unlimited" to "Data Plus" (I think) an now pay around $70 versus my usual $118.  Yeah, they were raping me, yo.

4. Snag those rewards.  I always used to associate rewards points with coupons in my head.  Like yeah, theoretically I can save money but I have to do extra work, right?  Yeah, no thanks.  But just today while in Subway a poster for their rewards program caught my eye.  After you earn a certain amount of points (a low amount at that) you can get a free sandwich.  A whole sandwich!  And I started to think, you mean I can earn free shit for doing the shit I already do?  Genius.  It just all makes sense.  I go to places like Duane Reade so much they should start paying me.  And essentially, that's what rewards programs do.  Get you a piece. 

Again, I'm no expert but I am a genius.  And if my lazy ass can get up and start saving, so can you.  :)

What are some ways that you save money?

The Round Up: Modcloth

Here's what's hot at Modcloth...







                      2.  Starlet of of Style   
                                    4.  Flower and the City
             6.   Secret's Out 
                                 8.   Prima Ballerina
Modcloth is one of the cutest sites I know.  Heavily inspired by vintage themes, Modcloth should be your first stop if you're looking for something super girly and one of a kind.  I have yet to order anything 'cause the clothing appears to be slim cut and I have double wide butt but it's still one of my favorite places to window shop.  :D

Items sell out notoriously quickly so if any of these caught you eye head over there now!

Familiar with  Tell me about your experience!

In real life, blood suckers are just gross. Oh yeah, and creepy.

Guess where I'm writing to you from? ?? Oh alright, I'll tell you.  I'm writing this from home!  My apartment!  My tiny, Ikea furnished bedroom!  I have internet!  ::shakes booty::  So I took a quick break from performing illegal activities to write a post.  'Cause I care about y'all.  

But really, this is the post before the post (Jersey Shore reference.  Anyone?  Anyone?) because I really want to write about the awesome time I had in VA but I honestly can't remember all of it.  It was that kind of weekend.  SO, take this instead.  :)
So I don’t know if you’ve heard but NYC has been taken over by bedbugs.  True story.  It’s like the number one searched term every other day.  People are freaking out, ya’ll.  Like Justin Beiber canceled one of his performances or something.

But I’m not understanding how this is really happening.  Like yes, I know, theoretically all one has to do is accidentally bring one of those suckers home.  One sketchy one night stand and you unknowingly tote one home via your hair or favorite J Crew sweater.  But then what?  Let’s conveniently assume that that resilient little critter makes it to your bed.  Then it feasts on you every other night until it dies of old age or you accidentally squash it in your sleep.  Infestation fail.

Or  maybe you unknowingly bring two home.  This I find harder to believe as I freak out if a random strand of hair brushes against me.  How someone can have two bedbugs hitch a ride home with them and never notice is beyond me.  But even if you do bring two home what are the chances that one is female and the other is male.  Seriously, what are the chances?  And that they actually like each other and mate?

Another possibility is that you accidentally bring home one pregnant bedbug.  And in that case you should just kill yourself because you are incredibly unlucky and would prob face your untimely demise via a freak accident anyway.

But as inconceivable as it seems, to me at least, the bugs are spreading like a curable, but not any less gross, STD in a value driven teen primetime drama.  So much so that the government is setting aside money to eradicate the problem.  Now, if the government is giving out money instead of figuring out another way to take it, you KNOW some shit is going down.  Basically, the world is about to end.  Bedbugs could like totally be the locusts of our time.  Hold on to your first born sons, folks. 

Because it's a really slow day today...

Yep, that's right.  You're getting two posts for the price of none (I can't believe I do this shit for free) since I'll be away this weekend and I know that you'll ::sings:: miss me a little when I'm gone, gone, goneeeee.  </drake lyric>

So I was browsing Yahoo's homepage this morning while inhaling my breakfast sandwich (nom nomz) when I came across this little tidbit.  If you're reading this in a reader and are opposed to ever clicking outside of those pretty two panes, here are the Spark Notes.  Taylor-Snooze Fest-Swift is upset that Kanye West keeps bringing up how he crashed the stage during last year's VMA's and suspects he's using and reusing that tale for publicity.  Um, ::insert bbm "uninterested" face here::

Oh Taylor.  Guess why Kanye and others keep bringing it up.  'CAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY.  That was like the best thing that has ever happened to you.  Before I hated you because you were about as interesting as watching someone re-grout tile.  But now I simply dislike you because at least you helped create one of the funniest jokes of all time.  OF ALL TIME!  See??  I just effortlessly linked in Kanye's quote while dissing your lame ass and laughing.  That's how funny that shit still is. 

But the article gets even better.  Apparently, Kanye still feels so bad that he wrote her an apology letter.  Quoting: "I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her."


What kind of creepy ass shit is that?  Wait, no, seriously.  The fuck?  I know while living in real, nondescript, society it feels like Hollywood is such a small world and everyone knows each other.  They really don't.  This would be the equivalent of some guy that accidentally cut you off in the EZ Pass lane finding you a year later at the grocery store and saying, "So, um, I wrote this poem for you..."  #sketchy

I mean, we all knew 'Ye was a nut but it doesn't make any of this less funny...

Where is my fab personal assistant when I need her?

Srsly.  I feel like cool shit is happening and I'm just out of the loop.  What. The. Hell.  Did you know there is going to be a Piperlime pop up shop?  'Cause I didn't.  And I frigging love that website.  Way to go Piperlime marketing team.  I feel like anytime something cool that pertains to my life comes into existence I should get a text message or some shit so I can be on top of things.  Yep, I'm pretty sure that's how life should be. 

Anyways, this shop HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. Is "anyways" a word now?  'Cause there's no pretentious squiggly red line underneath it.  This is tripping me outttt.

What? Oh yeah.  So this Piperlime shit.  The store is "popping up" just 3 blocks from my job which is what the French call "convenient".  When they're not speaking French of course.  I'm gonna check it out and you should, too.  Except not the days I do because I don't need another stalker, thankyouverymuch.

As if really cute boots wasn't enough, they also have a line up of events:

This would all fan-fucking-tastic except I won't be in the city this weekend.  I'll be in VA getting drunk visiting a friend.  Just when I was getting over the fact that I would be missing Fashion's Night Out again (last year I simply forgot.  Alcohol - 1, My Short Term Memory - 0) I find out I'll be missing this, too.  Rachel Zoe.  In arm's reach.  I die.  If you don't watch her show you're missing out. She's like my favorite crackhead.  Which says a lot because I have a soft spot for crackheads.  They're just trying to get by like everyone else, you know?

But apparently I won't miss Whitney Port?  Oh yay.  And by "yay" I mean I can't even come up with a witty enough comment to describe how epically uninterested I am in her and her life.  She's about as relevant as an 8-track player with a voice that makes me want to drill small holes in kittens.  Have you heard her voice??  She should not talk, ever.  She should invest in American Sign Language lessons.  She should pick up one of those text to speech keyboards that are all the rage with the paraplegics.  Yes, all of that should happen.

For those of you not lucky enough to be in the NYC area, or are and are simply trying to avoid Whitney Port at all costs, here's what's hot on the website right now (+ my comments of course since I know that's what makes you guys stick around.  Ha.):

The Ledger by Fergie
This is the kind of shoe you pick up in the store, turn to your friend and ask, "I kind of like this.  Is that weird??"  Because this, my friends, is a whole lot of boot.  Additionally, if I had to explain what this looked like to to someone I probably say it's similar to the leg of an acid washed jean stretched over a cowboy boot.  Which sounds all sorts of wrong.

The Bountiful by Guess
I've been really into theses booties as of late event though they're painfully reminiscent of those "ghetto" Timberland heels of J to the Lo's hey day. 

The ha-sorry-I-forgot-and-then-closed-the-page-and-am-too-lazy-to-find-it-again by Naughty Monkey
You can't really tell but the back is embellished which I totally encourage.  More shoes should have studs and generally sparkly things because that's what a rockstar princess needs, thankyouverymuch.

The 77977 by Street Level
Put a ruffle on something and I get excited.  Put one BIG ASS ruffle on a clutch and I practically drop my pants.  Period.

Ha, for a second the Blogger editor wouldn't let me tab down any further and I was all really, Blogger, you're limiting the lengths of posts?  That's really Twitter/Communist-like of you.  But it's all good.  :)
Later days bitches,


Credits: Photos and general Piperlime info was compiled from  Duh.

Really, guys?

Check my archives list.  I've only posted twice in the whole month of August.  Twice.  And not one of you has inquired as to why.  No, "zomg, what happened to you?" or "wth, are you alive?".  Where is the support, ya'll?

See the thing is, I'm poor.  Not poor like homeless, wait in line at the soup kitchen poor.  But poor like I live in NYC where you can never make enough money and thus I constantly have to make decisions like groceries for a week or dinner at my favorite restaurant?  Paying that parking ticket or getting a mani pedi?  Getting internet access for the crib or getting a gym membership for my ass?  If you chose choice B for all these, you would be me.  I mean have you seen my ass?? 

Long story short, I don't have internet at the homefront which is conveniently where I find all my inspiration.  ::sarcasm::  I do, however, have a ton of drafted blog posts saved to my laptop that I will one day post (at work.  shhhhhh!) when I finally decide to buy a new flash drive rather than the latest issue of Nylon and a bag of gummy bears.  When exactly that will be, I have no idea.  'Cause I fucking love gummy bears.

In the meantime, I have a plan.  I want my blog to be super fucking successful.  Like the Hannah Montana marketing department.  I want to have bitches on my dick like Obama.  And I've noticed that all the cool kids have a FAQ page on their blog.  So your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to ask me some motherfucking questions.  And I'll pretend I get asked that shit all the time, hence the term "frequently", answer them, and I will be one step closer the being the super sparkly princess of the blog world as I should be.  Choose wisely, bitches.

Seriously, leave some questions.  Bonus points for the ones that make me go, wtf. 

Your future favorite blogger,


If You See Something... Episode OO1

Here in the NYC there are lots of little campaigns to convince us to do shit we wouldn't always be game to do.  They usually involve kitchy slogans or novelty items.  Like, oh hey, safe sex is awesome take these free condoms!  And... well wait, I can't think of any other examples before getting into what this post is about so fuck it, I'm going in.

In terms of terrorists and subsequently terrorist attacks, the gov likes to tell us to be alert! I mean don't freak out but, be alert!  And they do so by using the slogan "If see something, say something".  As in, if you see something suspicious, like an unattended package, you better tell someone before Time Square gets blown the fuck up.

My friends and I like to think that slogan applies to life in general.  For example if you see a homeless guy rolling down Broadway in an office chair (last week), or homeless couple with enough recyclables to fill up an entire car on the 3 train (last weekend), or anything else that kinda sad yet kinda awesomely funny.  You should let someone know.  'Cause sharing is caring, folks. 

So when I was on the Yahoo homepage this morning and saw this, I knew I had to start a series:


Clearly someone doesn't use Adsense. 

Wth, Yahoo?  Here I am washing down some low fat granola with some no taste water researching ways to catch a case of the skinnies when you lure me in with magic sparkle promises of how to not eat an entire box of Nutter Butters in one sitting even though I totally didn't eat anything else that day and it's kind of justified but yeah, not really, and then you distract me with a GIANT AD FOR RED VELVET CUPCAKES?!

I trusted you, Yahoo.  More importantly, I stood by you.  I still have a Yahoo account even though you constantly allow Nigerian ambassadors to solicit me for funds and enter me into UK lotteries without my knowledge.  It's going to take a whole lot of free shit time for you to be on my good side again.  Hmph.

Gmail for life,


PS: If you see something weird/crazy/hilarious please send it in!  Hit up luxelittlethings (at) gmail (dot) com.

Slub V Neck Tee -
Tapeyarn Crotchet Circle Vest -
Miso Mini Pastel Floral Skirt -
Caravelle leopard-print sandals -
Jane mixed bangle set -
Wings With Love Ring -
Eiffel Tower Cluster Pendant Necklace -

Man, I can't wait until I have hundreds of loyal followers where all I have to post is "have a good weekend, ya'll" and then get dozens of comments that are all "zomg this blog is the best!!!11".  That's the life.

In other news, shout out to the cab driver who told me I should be ashamed of myself for tipping him $1 for a $5.00 cab ride.  THAT'S A 20% TIP, JACKASS.  You should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing basic math.  Then again you are stuck driving a cab for a living.

Also?  Fuck you & your mom.

...Obviously I meant the cab driver not you guys.  I love you guys.  Who else would read this shit??

Later days,

WebMD. Birthing one hypochondriac at a time.

For as long as I can remember, I've always randomly gotten really bad sore throats.  Neck sensitivity is a Taurus thing.  Like stubbornness, and being loyal, and being all around awesome.  Seriously, look it up.  One of my earliest memories is of me crying my eyes out in pain further inflaming my throat and my father yelling at my mother because, WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?  STOP THE CRYING!  ...Ah, childhood.

Sore throats, for me, also mean a cold is a'coming.  But if I OD on Vitamin C I can usually skip the worst of it. 

So when I got an epically bad sore throat last week it was less omg I'm dying! and more fuck this fucking shit again?  At some point it just became like cramps.  You know they're coming so strap in and man the fuck up.  I did, however, inform the boyfriend because sore throats are kinda contagious and he might actually care about his well being.  So it's beyond me how he was shocked when he started getting sick yesterday. 

Me: You're depressing me.  What's wrong?
Him: My throat is killing me.
Me: Oh you must have got it from me.  Mine just stopped hurting.
Me: Yeah, I totally warned you about it.
Him.  Oh.  I forgot.

And so, as is customary when a guy gets sick, the world started coming to end.  All of a sudden his neck was stiff, his stomach hurt, he no longer had a reason for living, etc.  While I was musing on how this was about to be the longest, most intense case of the common cold in history, he sent me this gem of a BBM.  (That's a Blackberry Messenger message those who are not "with it".)

"I just found out I have STREP"


And he wrote it just like that, y'all.  "Strep" in all caps like he just dropped a crazy bomb on me.  My thought process?  Who THE FUCK gave you strep throat?  'Cause it wasn't from me.  I've had strep before and this is not it.  Word.

I find out that his friends convinced him that he had strep so I went to the internets to prove him otherwise.  First stop, WebMD. 

Big fucking mistake.

I should have known.  Everyone says WebMD is full of shit only hypochondriacs want to hear.  I even just read a hilarious post about it here.  But I was all, I'm smart there's no way I can get hysterical over a silly website.  Oh yes, sweet baby Jesus, there is SO a way.

So I'm plugging in the first symptom "sore throat" and guess what the first result was?  Throat cancer.  Way to be fucking morbid WebMD. I mean wth!  After my minor freak out I kept plugging in the symptoms and sure enough the common cold finally came up as the first result.  So I was all, UH, WHAT, FUCK YEAH!  RIGHT AGAIN.  Like I just won a mini-game in Mario Party 7.  I'm a real trip sometimes.

Out of curiosity I scrolled down and looked up the other results.  And yeah, so what, strep throat was one of them.  But also it had some crazy shit that I've never heard of that, oh hi, results in death.  Death!  I can't WebMD, I can't do this with you.  Freaking out here.  WebMD JUST KILLED MY BOYFRIEND. 

It's such a shame.  He was kinda cute, too...

Moral of the story?  If you feel sick, go see someone with a degree.  They'll prob just give you a band-aid and prescription for generic penicillin but at least you won't give yourself a heart attack.

Also?  HI BOYFRIEND.  143!  Seriously, 143!

No longer freaking out,


*Imagine this being said in the same tone as someone would say, idk, YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY BROTHER?!  Mad accusatory, yo.

Casualties, the N-double A-CP, and SHOES!

I've noticed that random ass titles like that get the most views and comments.  Ya'll got some serious ADD.

Yesterday I almost got hit by a car.  Seriously.  The front bumper of a souped up Acura and my legs got real close.  Super tight.  Like we went back to the 1st grade or something.  I was crossing my street (because, hello, accidents only happen super close to your house.   This is the universe's way of embarrassing the shit out of you.) while I had the light when the Batmobile wanna-be whipped around trying to make a left turn.  I stood there and gave the driver my fiercest I am a pedestrian you must yield to me (!) look.  And then, AND THEN, this douchebag lurches forward and stops short as if to threaten me!  So I did what any conscious person would do; I banged on the driver's side window and gave him the finger while shouting all sorts of flowery explicatives. 

I mean really?  Hit me.  Do it, I dare you.  I will feign so many injuries you'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay me off.  Back pain, neck pain, emotional distress.  Also, my fetus.  I could've been pregnant.  I'm not, (::knocks feverishly on wood::) but I could've been!

In totally unrelated news, earlier today I was being nosy and browsing other people's monitors at work when I saw one of my co-workers looking at the NAACP website.  ...Cool but, he was white.  o_O  Is it racist that I'm giving him the side eye for that?  I mean, what could he possibly be looking for?  Verifying how much he's not oppressed?  Searching for scholarships he can't apply to?  I am just very curious.  I like to know where everyone's head is... at.  I hate ending sentences with a preposition.  But I'll lose my street cred if I don't.  Feel me?

In closing, I bought new shoes a few weeks ago.  #Kapow.  How badass am I, though?  Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Love you moreee,



** There should be a new punctuation mark created for when you want to put this "?!" but want to not look like a dramatic 14 year old.  But sometimes I really am shouting a question!  Or asking something angrily!  You know?!

**Did you know there's a difference between prison and jail?  'Cause there is.  ...You'll wanna steer clear of prison.

**I once convinced my sister you could sell children on Ebay.  She hasn't been the same since.

**Meet my new bffae.  HIIIIIII SARA.  

**I will write a real post one of these days.

**Thanks for sticking with me.

Love && rockets,

Weekend inspiration: A little Polyvore...

...for that ass.


Military Strapless Dress by Love via Topshop
Knitted Stud Shoulder Cardigan via Topshop
Carvela Amanda Straped Heeled Sandals via Asos 
Floral Cross Body Clutch Bag via Topshop 
Crystalised Ring via Modcloth
Paula Bianco 'Romantic Embellishment' Blush Pink Chiffon With Crystal Detail via Asos.

Do you procrastinate on life making sets, too?  Email me a link and I'll feature you. ...Probably.  ...Maybe.  ...If it doesn't suck.  ^_^

Happy Asian smiles,

to be completely consumed by it
to not have room to want anyone else
anything else
to be at the mercy of someone else
to think you know everything but still be surprised by
the hoarseness of an exclamation
the swiftness of a movement
the never wavering anticipation
to be half of the only warm thing in a cold room
heart racing while lying still
to match your breathing to that of another
inhale, exhale, sigh, inhale
to feel your body light up to the touch
lips on lips, skin on skin, skin on lips, lips on skin
to hold your mouth open and have it gently closed
to press your mouth close and have it gently parted
to spend an entire weekend indoors 
doing nothing but holding, touching, feeling
a warm hand cupped on a cheek
a rough palm against a lower back
a warm whisper gracing a collarbone
to look at him 
and see everything
you didn't even know you could see

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