And I mean it. I haven't meant an apology since I switched buddies in the fourth grade during our trip to the Statue of Liberty (and zomg!) Ellis Island because my old buddy wasn't cool enough. That's how much you guys mean to me. You're welcome.
But I've been super busy. Like, busier than your mom on a good night. With what, you ask? Welllll I graduated college and started a new job. ...Which is totally more time consuming than it sounds. I couldn't tell you the last time I sat down and watched television. I've been missing Glee for crying out loud. And there was a Lady GaGa episode?? #cryingontheinside
This is also because my cable has been off since I don't pay the bills, my roommate does, and idk, maybe she's lazy but I couldn't complain because I was late with my half of the rent this month and my shower is leaking on the downstairs neighbor again which is legit not my fault but my roommate probably thinks it is since this happened for the second time in two months and wth showers shouldn't just leak like that but I haven't been doing anything but taking normal showers so by thinking I did it implies that you think I can break shower tiles simply by stepping on them which is just rude.
What else? Ummmm, I've been drinking a lot which sure does make time fly. And I may have, may have not been spending a lot of time indoors happily losing wrestling matches if you know what I mean (#wink) even though that's neither here nor there and omg, why are you so nosy?
And my attempts to improve my flexibility are so not the point right now. The point is I've been gone for awhile but I'm semi-back now and I have story.
So the other night after margaritas, quesadillas, and laughing at people (also know as the trifecta that is my life) we were on our way home when we were approached by a petite older lady bawling at level that would rival that of any true Miss America winner. Note, I don't do well with tears. Don't know how to handle 'em. Like what do you do them, really? They're about as useful as a handicapped parking space at a skating rink.
Anyway. She was on her way back home (in Westchester!) when her boyfriend kicked her out of the car after a petty argument and long night of drinking. Sads. But also, kind of hilarious. ...We offered to call her boyfriend to come pick her up but she didn't want to talk to him. We offered her money but she didn't want to take it. How do I get home from here? Was all she wanted to know.
We were steps from Union Square and explained all she had to do was take the express train uptown. But how far is it to walk? My friends and I exchanged incredulous stares and replied in unison, like 30 blocks!
That's fine. I need time to think.
And sure enough, my friends, that piggy went wee, wee, wee all the way uptown. O_O
Yesterday I asked my friend what she did she think happened to the lady. She never made it, was her legit, dead ass response. Roflmao.
P.S. Also, this? I GOT IT. Via graduation gift. I am fucking trendy.
Image via Photobucket