Casualties, the N-double A-CP, and SHOES!

I've noticed that random ass titles like that get the most views and comments.  Ya'll got some serious ADD.

Yesterday I almost got hit by a car.  Seriously.  The front bumper of a souped up Acura and my legs got real close.  Super tight.  Like we went back to the 1st grade or something.  I was crossing my street (because, hello, accidents only happen super close to your house.   This is the universe's way of embarrassing the shit out of you.) while I had the light when the Batmobile wanna-be whipped around trying to make a left turn.  I stood there and gave the driver my fiercest I am a pedestrian you must yield to me (!) look.  And then, AND THEN, this douchebag lurches forward and stops short as if to threaten me!  So I did what any conscious person would do; I banged on the driver's side window and gave him the finger while shouting all sorts of flowery explicatives. 

I mean really?  Hit me.  Do it, I dare you.  I will feign so many injuries you'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay me off.  Back pain, neck pain, emotional distress.  Also, my fetus.  I could've been pregnant.  I'm not, (::knocks feverishly on wood::) but I could've been!

In totally unrelated news, earlier today I was being nosy and browsing other people's monitors at work when I saw one of my co-workers looking at the NAACP website.  ...Cool but, he was white.  o_O  Is it racist that I'm giving him the side eye for that?  I mean, what could he possibly be looking for?  Verifying how much he's not oppressed?  Searching for scholarships he can't apply to?  I am just very curious.  I like to know where everyone's head is... at.  I hate ending sentences with a preposition.  But I'll lose my street cred if I don't.  Feel me?

In closing, I bought new shoes a few weeks ago.  #Kapow.  How badass am I, though?  Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Love you moreee,


6 Response to "Casualties, the N-double A-CP, and SHOES!"

  1. To drive the point home to the wanna be batman driver you should have jumped on the hood of the batmobile and started screaming in feigned agony.

    Damn saucy shoes. Meow!

    Sara says:

    I am so poor that I would have thrown myself into his car. Punk ass.

    Anonymous says:

    Asssshooole. That is all.

    roni says:


    have you not learned anything if you think he hits, FALL.

    as for the NAACP thing, don't be offended white people just like to look at shit. curiosity. My co-worker was looking up slavery not too long ago..

    tee says:

    So glad to see everyone would be willing to testify that I did, in fact, get hit by that car resulting in serious physical and emotional damage. ;) I heart ya'll.

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