This is weird. But I like it.
My mother, God bless her heart, is on some super devout Christian shit. Whoa, probably should not have cursed in that sentence, but hell, I don't look back! Anywho, for whatever reason she fasts for a month at the beginning of every year. I really couldn't tell you why. The necessity of doing so may be discussed in a chapter of the Bible I neglected to study (see: all of them) or a missed episode of the 700 Club. For the first week she doesn't eat at all and for the rest of the month she only consumes liquids like soup and, well, soup.
But enough about her. The kicker is, I'm doing it with her. Now you're probably all, "wtf, Tee? You're crazy! I mean you're not even religious like that!" And to that I reply "psht, you don't know me!" all angsty-like even though that may be slightly true. Thing is, my mom asked me to do it. And I grew up in a super strict home where you just can't say no to your parents. Even if they are requesting you do illegal activities. It's just not done, I tell you. And yes, I could lie considering we live in different states (albeit only NJ to NY) but I don't like to lie because I'm really good at it. It's just not fair. I think it may be since I'm half Irish on my Dad's side except that can't be true because I'm 100% not White and I was just trying to prove to you how amazing of a liar I am*. See?? So I'm doing it. But only doing it for a week and I have to tell you, it's not that bad.
Again with the crazy looks? Cut that shit out, I am serious!
Plus, it helped me learn things about myself. Like how I'm most likely to snack in the middle of the night, and that I'm overall pretty hard-fucking-core. Seriously. I threw back a Mike's Hard and a tall glass of Malibu on an empty stomach and frustratingly did not feel the slightest buzz. Girly drinks or not, I should have at least let out an inappropriate giggle or two.
And you, looking at me with the side eye, no one said I couldn't drink alcohol! Be gone with your judgments!
But yeah, the moral of my story is, I am hungry. Also, my pirated wireless internet connection has mysteriously disappeared. So if you don't hear from me for another week and half, do not despair. I'm fine. Just disconnected. :(
*I feel like I once read/heard somewhere that the Irish were notoriously good liars. I could be dead wrong. But it would totally be the first time.
[Image via We Heart It]