Really, guys?

4:15 PM tee , Posted in , 2 Comments

Check my archives list.  I've only posted twice in the whole month of August.  Twice.  And not one of you has inquired as to why.  No, "zomg, what happened to you?" or "wth, are you alive?".  Where is the support, ya'll?

See the thing is, I'm poor.  Not poor like homeless, wait in line at the soup kitchen poor.  But poor like I live in NYC where you can never make enough money and thus I constantly have to make decisions like groceries for a week or dinner at my favorite restaurant?  Paying that parking ticket or getting a mani pedi?  Getting internet access for the crib or getting a gym membership for my ass?  If you chose choice B for all these, you would be me.  I mean have you seen my ass?? 

Long story short, I don't have internet at the homefront which is conveniently where I find all my inspiration.  ::sarcasm::  I do, however, have a ton of drafted blog posts saved to my laptop that I will one day post (at work.  shhhhhh!) when I finally decide to buy a new flash drive rather than the latest issue of Nylon and a bag of gummy bears.  When exactly that will be, I have no idea.  'Cause I fucking love gummy bears.

In the meantime, I have a plan.  I want my blog to be super fucking successful.  Like the Hannah Montana marketing department.  I want to have bitches on my dick like Obama.  And I've noticed that all the cool kids have a FAQ page on their blog.  So your mission, if you chose to accept it, is to ask me some motherfucking questions.  And I'll pretend I get asked that shit all the time, hence the term "frequently", answer them, and I will be one step closer the being the super sparkly princess of the blog world as I should be.  Choose wisely, bitches.

Seriously, leave some questions.  Bonus points for the ones that make me go, wtf. 


Your future favorite blogger,

Tee.

If You See Something... Episode OO1

11:46 AM tee , 3 Comments

Here in the NYC there are lots of little campaigns to convince us to do shit we wouldn't always be game to do.  They usually involve kitchy slogans or novelty items.  Like, oh hey, safe sex is awesome take these free condoms!  And... well wait, I can't think of any other examples before getting into what this post is about so fuck it, I'm going in.

In terms of terrorists and subsequently terrorist attacks, the gov likes to tell us to be alert! I mean don't freak out but, be alert!  And they do so by using the slogan "If see something, say something".  As in, if you see something suspicious, like an unattended package, you better tell someone before Time Square gets blown the fuck up.

My friends and I like to think that slogan applies to life in general.  For example if you see a homeless guy rolling down Broadway in an office chair (last week), or homeless couple with enough recyclables to fill up an entire car on the 3 train (last weekend), or anything else that kinda sad yet kinda awesomely funny.  You should let someone know.  'Cause sharing is caring, folks. 

So when I was on the Yahoo homepage this morning and saw this, I knew I had to start a series:


O__O

Clearly someone doesn't use Adsense. 

Wth, Yahoo?  Here I am washing down some low fat granola with some no taste water researching ways to catch a case of the skinnies when you lure me in with magic sparkle promises of how to not eat an entire box of Nutter Butters in one sitting even though I totally didn't eat anything else that day and it's kind of justified but yeah, not really, and then you distract me with a GIANT AD FOR RED VELVET CUPCAKES?!

I trusted you, Yahoo.  More importantly, I stood by you.  I still have a Yahoo account even though you constantly allow Nigerian ambassadors to solicit me for funds and enter me into UK lotteries without my knowledge.  It's going to take a whole lot of free shit time for you to be on my good side again.  Hmph.


Gmail for life,

Tee



PS: If you see something weird/crazy/hilarious please send it in!  Hit up luxelittlethings (at) gmail (dot) com.

3:40 PM tee , Posted in , , 1 Comment


Slub V Neck Tee - wetseal.com
Tapeyarn Crotchet Circle Vest - ardenb.com
Miso Mini Pastel Floral Skirt - republic.co.uk
Caravelle leopard-print sandals - net-a-porter.com
Jane mixed bangle set - net-a-porter.com
Wings With Love Ring - topshop.com
Eiffel Tower Cluster Pendant Necklace - monsoon.co.uk


Man, I can't wait until I have hundreds of loyal followers where all I have to post is "have a good weekend, ya'll" and then get dozens of comments that are all "zomg this blog is the best!!!11".  That's the life.

In other news, shout out to the cab driver who told me I should be ashamed of myself for tipping him $1 for a $5.00 cab ride.  THAT'S A 20% TIP, JACKASS.  You should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing basic math.  Then again you are stuck driving a cab for a living.

Also?  Fuck you & your mom.

...Obviously I meant the cab driver not you guys.  I love you guys.  Who else would read this shit??


Later days,
Tee

WebMD. Birthing one hypochondriac at a time.

4:16 PM tee , Posted in , 1 Comment

For as long as I can remember, I've always randomly gotten really bad sore throats.  Neck sensitivity is a Taurus thing.  Like stubbornness, and being loyal, and being all around awesome.  Seriously, look it up.  One of my earliest memories is of me crying my eyes out in pain further inflaming my throat and my father yelling at my mother because, WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?  STOP THE CRYING!  ...Ah, childhood.

Sore throats, for me, also mean a cold is a'coming.  But if I OD on Vitamin C I can usually skip the worst of it. 

So when I got an epically bad sore throat last week it was less omg I'm dying! and more fuck this fucking shit again?  At some point it just became like cramps.  You know they're coming so strap in and man the fuck up.  I did, however, inform the boyfriend because sore throats are kinda contagious and he might actually care about his well being.  So it's beyond me how he was shocked when he started getting sick yesterday. 

Me: You're depressing me.  What's wrong?
Him: My throat is killing me.
Me: Oh you must have got it from me.  Mine just stopped hurting.
Him: YOU HAD A SORE THROAT?!*
Me: Yeah, I totally warned you about it.
Him.  Oh.  I forgot.

And so, as is customary when a guy gets sick, the world started coming to end.  All of a sudden his neck was stiff, his stomach hurt, he no longer had a reason for living, etc.  While I was musing on how this was about to be the longest, most intense case of the common cold in history, he sent me this gem of a BBM.  (That's a Blackberry Messenger message those who are not "with it".)

"I just found out I have STREP"

...

And he wrote it just like that, y'all.  "Strep" in all caps like he just dropped a crazy bomb on me.  My thought process?  Who THE FUCK gave you strep throat?  'Cause it wasn't from me.  I've had strep before and this is not it.  Word.

I find out that his friends convinced him that he had strep so I went to the internets to prove him otherwise.  First stop, WebMD. 

Big fucking mistake.

I should have known.  Everyone says WebMD is full of shit only hypochondriacs want to hear.  I even just read a hilarious post about it here.  But I was all, I'm smart there's no way I can get hysterical over a silly website.  Oh yes, sweet baby Jesus, there is SO a way.

So I'm plugging in the first symptom "sore throat" and guess what the first result was?  Throat cancer.  Way to be fucking morbid WebMD. I mean wth!  After my minor freak out I kept plugging in the symptoms and sure enough the common cold finally came up as the first result.  So I was all, UH, WHAT, FUCK YEAH!  RIGHT AGAIN.  Like I just won a mini-game in Mario Party 7.  I'm a real trip sometimes.

Out of curiosity I scrolled down and looked up the other results.  And yeah, so what, strep throat was one of them.  But also it had some crazy shit that I've never heard of that, oh hi, results in death.  Death!  I can't WebMD, I can't do this with you.  Freaking out here.  WebMD JUST KILLED MY BOYFRIEND. 

It's such a shame.  He was kinda cute, too...

Moral of the story?  If you feel sick, go see someone with a degree.  They'll prob just give you a band-aid and prescription for generic penicillin but at least you won't give yourself a heart attack.

Also?  HI BOYFRIEND.  143!  Seriously, 143!


No longer freaking out,

Tee



*Imagine this being said in the same tone as someone would say, idk, YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY BROTHER?!  Mad accusatory, yo.

Casualties, the N-double A-CP, and SHOES!

1:32 PM tee , Posted in , , , 5 Comments

I've noticed that random ass titles like that get the most views and comments.  Ya'll got some serious ADD.

Yesterday I almost got hit by a car.  Seriously.  The front bumper of a souped up Acura and my legs got real close.  Super tight.  Like we went back to the 1st grade or something.  I was crossing my street (because, hello, accidents only happen super close to your house.   This is the universe's way of embarrassing the shit out of you.) while I had the light when the Batmobile wanna-be whipped around trying to make a left turn.  I stood there and gave the driver my fiercest I am a pedestrian you must yield to me (!) look.  And then, AND THEN, this douchebag lurches forward and stops short as if to threaten me!  So I did what any conscious person would do; I banged on the driver's side window and gave him the finger while shouting all sorts of flowery explicatives. 

I mean really?  Hit me.  Do it, I dare you.  I will feign so many injuries you'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay me off.  Back pain, neck pain, emotional distress.  Also, my fetus.  I could've been pregnant.  I'm not, (::knocks feverishly on wood::) but I could've been!

In totally unrelated news, earlier today I was being nosy and browsing other people's monitors at work when I saw one of my co-workers looking at the NAACP website.  ...Cool but, he was white.  o_O  Is it racist that I'm giving him the side eye for that?  I mean, what could he possibly be looking for?  Verifying how much he's not oppressed?  Searching for scholarships he can't apply to?  I am just very curious.  I like to know where everyone's head is... at.  I hate ending sentences with a preposition.  But I'll lose my street cred if I don't.  Feel me?

In closing, I bought new shoes a few weeks ago.  #Kapow.  How badass am I, though?  Feel free to discuss in the comments.




Love you moreee,

Tee

Microbloggin'

2:18 PM tee , Posted in , , 6 Comments

** There should be a new punctuation mark created for when you want to put this "?!" but want to not look like a dramatic 14 year old.  But sometimes I really am shouting a question!  Or asking something angrily!  You know?!

**Did you know there's a difference between prison and jail?  'Cause there is.  ...You'll wanna steer clear of prison.

**I once convinced my sister you could sell children on Ebay.  She hasn't been the same since.

**Meet my new bffae.  HIIIIIII SARA.  

**I will write a real post one of these days.

**Thanks for sticking with me.


Love && rockets,
Tee.

Weekend inspiration: A little Polyvore...

11:52 AM tee , Posted in , 4 Comments

...for that ass.


 

Military Strapless Dress by Love via Topshop
Knitted Stud Shoulder Cardigan via Topshop
Carvela Amanda Straped Heeled Sandals via Asos 
Floral Cross Body Clutch Bag via Topshop 
Crystalised Ring via Modcloth
Paula Bianco 'Romantic Embellishment' Blush Pink Chiffon With Crystal Detail via Asos.



Do you procrastinate on life making sets, too?  Email me a link and I'll feature you. ...Probably.  ...Maybe.  ...If it doesn't suck.  ^_^

Happy Asian smiles,
Tee.

5:05 PM tee , Posted in , , 2 Comments

to be completely consumed by it
to not have room to want anyone else
anything else
to be at the mercy of someone else
to think you know everything but still be surprised by
the hoarseness of an exclamation
the swiftness of a movement
the never wavering anticipation
to be half of the only warm thing in a cold room
heart racing while lying still
to match your breathing to that of another
inhale, exhale, sigh, inhale
to feel your body light up to the touch
lips on lips, skin on skin, skin on lips, lips on skin
to hold your mouth open and have it gently closed
to press your mouth close and have it gently parted
to spend an entire weekend indoors 
doing nothing but holding, touching, feeling
a warm hand cupped on a cheek
a rough palm against a lower back
a warm whisper gracing a collarbone
to look at him 
and see everything
you didn't even know you could see

The one in which I'm slightly hypocritical...

6:47 PM tee , 5 Comments

I'm usually turned off when some bloggers blog about how other blogs aren't interesting because, seriously, who died and made you pretty pretty princess of all things that are interesting and blog worthy? Certainly not me.  And I know what's interesting.  And it's definitely not a photo diary of how well you match Forever 21 with more Forever 21, or a detailed account of what you needlepointed last and are now peddling on Etsy, or pictures of you at a vegan restaurant wearing Ray Bans and telling me how flipping awesome your life is, so awesome in fact you have hours of time each day allotted to tell me just how awesome your life is.  Certainly none of that.

But, BUT I don't point one finger at you with three pointed back to me because, who the fuck knows, maybe there are fashion challenged twenty-somethings, craft happy moms, and shower fearing hipsters who are living their lives vicariously through those blogs.  Ya never know. 

However today while I was e-window shopping, scrolling through Google Reader, working, I came across this in a minimal effort required, these are pictures I find inspiring!, blog. 


O_O

I think that's spit, y'all. 

Who THE FUCK thought, hmm, this is interesting enough to pass on!  My followers will think this is just as marginally cool as my other photos!

I'm offended that someone would think I would not be offended by this.  I may be Britney Spears biggest fan and I may always laugh when someone trips and/or falls because I am that easily amused, but I am not that easily placated.  Hmph.

Oh, hey you. Yes you. At the computer.

12:19 PM tee , Posted in , 1 Comment

Wanna completely waste two valuable hours of your life that you'll never ever get back (like your mom's elasticity)?

Watch I Know Who Killed Me.

You're welcome.

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More
RSS FeedRSS Subscription!
powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes | Converted by BloggerTheme