Casualties, the N-double A-CP, and SHOES!
1:32 PM
tee
, Posted in
I've noticed that random ass titles like that get the most views and comments. Ya'll got some serious ADD.
Yesterday I almost got hit by a car. Seriously. The front bumper of a souped up Acura and my legs got real close. Super tight. Like we went back to the 1st grade or something. I was crossing my street (because, hello, accidents only happen super close to your house. This is the universe's way of embarrassing the shit out of you.) while I had the light when the Batmobile wanna-be whipped around trying to make a left turn. I stood there and gave the driver my fiercest I am a pedestrian you must yield to me (!) look. And then, AND THEN, this douchebag lurches forward and stops short as if to threaten me! So I did what any conscious person would do; I banged on the driver's side window and gave him the finger while shouting all sorts of flowery explicatives.
I mean really? Hit me. Do it, I dare you. I will feign so many injuries you'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay me off. Back pain, neck pain, emotional distress. Also, my fetus. I could've been pregnant. I'm not, (::knocks feverishly on wood::) but I could've been!
In totally unrelated news, earlier today I was being nosy and browsing other people's monitors at work when I saw one of my co-workers looking at the NAACP website. ...Cool but, he was white. o_O Is it racist that I'm giving him the side eye for that? I mean, what could he possibly be looking for? Verifying how much he's not oppressed? Searching for scholarships he can't apply to? I am just very curious. I like to know where everyone's head is... at. I hate ending sentences with a preposition. But I'll lose my street cred if I don't. Feel me?
In closing, I bought new shoes a few weeks ago. #Kapow. How badass am I, though? Feel free to discuss in the comments.
Love you moreee,
Tee
Yesterday I almost got hit by a car. Seriously. The front bumper of a souped up Acura and my legs got real close. Super tight. Like we went back to the 1st grade or something. I was crossing my street (because, hello, accidents only happen super close to your house. This is the universe's way of embarrassing the shit out of you.) while I had the light when the Batmobile wanna-be whipped around trying to make a left turn. I stood there and gave the driver my fiercest I am a pedestrian you must yield to me (!) look. And then, AND THEN, this douchebag lurches forward and stops short as if to threaten me! So I did what any conscious person would do; I banged on the driver's side window and gave him the finger while shouting all sorts of flowery explicatives.
I mean really? Hit me. Do it, I dare you. I will feign so many injuries you'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay me off. Back pain, neck pain, emotional distress. Also, my fetus. I could've been pregnant. I'm not, (::knocks feverishly on wood::) but I could've been!
In totally unrelated news, earlier today I was being nosy and browsing other people's monitors at work when I saw one of my co-workers looking at the NAACP website. ...Cool but, he was white. o_O Is it racist that I'm giving him the side eye for that? I mean, what could he possibly be looking for? Verifying how much he's not oppressed? Searching for scholarships he can't apply to? I am just very curious. I like to know where everyone's head is... at. I hate ending sentences with a preposition. But I'll lose my street cred if I don't. Feel me?
In closing, I bought new shoes a few weeks ago. #Kapow. How badass am I, though? Feel free to discuss in the comments.
Love you moreee,
Tee
